and the band played on...

What a weekend. It's taken me a few days since the weekend to take it all in and to bring myself to post something about it...

Friday and Saturday (as mentioned in previous blog), I was privileged to lead worship for a few thousand teenagers with some of my best friends. All in all, the entire weekend was indescribable. For once, I just felt... in my element.

One of those things that, when the lights went dark on Friday night and we took the stage, any nervousness I should've felt or normally would've felt was gone... and we played on. Surprisingly enough, a few thousand eyes staring back wasn't as creepy as originally anticipated. At this point, I'd pretty much gone through any "what-if" moment... and some of those happened, and we pushed through and God continued His work in the room.

Understand one thing about me. I'm not a real "people" person. My closest friends know this about me. I'm not one to go hang out with a crowd of people, much less close to 2 or 3 thousand people... I hate going to Wal-mart because of the people there. (maybe I should get that checked out). But this was different... it was a purpose. God placed us in that room, for this reason during this event... for a reason.

It's like I was telling my friend Blake... for the first time in awhile, what I was a part of was completely and 100 percent fulfilling. God used us in a mighty way, which I am thankful for. There is no we would've been able to pull something like this off without our Creator.

Some great things happened from this. We were asked to come back next year, which is always a plus! We were also invited to do worship in Ireland next summer by some of our new Irish friends from Dublin. So we are planning a possible trip there next summer to do something very similar to what we just did this past weekend.

There's more that happened, but it would bore the normal person. I mean, my highlights were the 40 motion lights with the LEDs that blanketed the back of the stage... having my own monitor mix in my in-ears custom to what I wanted... getting to strap on a Gibson ES335 that a buddy let me borrow... having a green room with a crap load of candy... you know... that stuff. So I'll leave the thought of the weekend being that God took a group of ordinaries and did something extraordinary through us and through that, God did a number in many students lives. There were a ton of new salvations on the first night, and I'm thankful for that!

It's always slightly disappointing after things like this though... its like Christmas. Now what? You gear yourself up for Christmas and then... boom... its over. The weekend left me feeling fulfilled yet wanting more. (another reference to 2 posts ago). Again, telling my buddy Blake, I wish we could do this every weekend!

Although, like everything else... I'm sure it too would lose its luster and back to wishing for other things.

I've been praying a lot lately about what God has in store. I'm actually sitting outside right now... in my peacoat, a cup of coffee, listening to an old Album Leaf CD with my Tiki torches lit and the 50 degree wind hitting my face (it is cold actually). This is where I come back to the things God has in store for Jamie and I. Its times like this, alone, in the cold, outside, in the dark... God, what are we doing? I'll be completely honest in saying I don't know that I'm in God's perfect will. I know that I'm trying my best to live more like Him each day, although I still honk when someone cuts me off and I still get angry with people on the phone and think some pretty awful things about those people... but who doesn't? (if it is just me, let me know... ha!). I always get like this before God does something huge... I get somewhat reclusive and contemplative... this happened before we moved to Oklahoma City.

What is it now God? What is around the corner? I'm willing and ready, but I'm tired.
I tend to get emotional about this stuff... I'm tired... I'm beat down... I'm weary... but I'm still looking to You for the next move. If you want Jamie and I to sell all and move to Africa, so be it. I'd do it in a heartbeat. If its something as little as a change of heart, I'm down with that. I just am tired and distraught...

I was talking with one of my great friends today at lunch about these feelings... about knowing God is moving things into place for something else. It got me excited, but the impatient part of me wants it now.. ha!

So all that to say that this weekend stirred up much emotion within me... about my future, about my passion, about God's perfect will for mine and Jamie's lives, about being patient and about being fruitful where we are planted. A tree continues to produce fruit until it is uprooted and, unless replanted, cannot survive once uprooted. Until then, I march on doing only what I know to do... grow where I'm planted. There will be more weekends like this past weekend... and some may be better than this last one... but in the end, the band plays on and life continues.